Chapter.05

February 12

The weather outside was wonderful. Sun was shining and there was not much wind. Because it was only February it was not very warm. But with my winterjacket and Sidneys arm around me I was not cold or freezing.
We explored the surrounding. Well, Sidney showed me everything while I loved it more and more.
The little town was great. Just a few houses, old english cottages, a Pub, a Backery, a small Grocery with butcher, a Post-Office and a pretty small Church. The newest building was a Hotel and a Beach-Club. Sidney told me, during the summer this Club is crowded there. A lot of London people are coming for the weekend and vacation while the weather is nice. Luckily it was far away from our sweet little Hotel.
On our way back along the beach Sidney wanted to know more about Barry and us knowing each other. I guess he still was a little bit jealous. So I told him how we met years ago and that ever since we are only good friends. I also told him that we always stayed in contact via text or calls, at least once a month. And I wanted him to know that Barry always talked so adoringly about the Hotel he is working for. Now I understand him. It was like a piece of heaven to be here.
But I also needed to know why Barry was kind of afraid when he saw Sidney entering the bar.
'I think, perhaps because I'm his Boss' brother.' he answered 'and also he knows me, and I really like him, he is still not sure if I'm a spy for David.' and after a short pause he added 'which is ballocks, of course.'

In front of the Hotel we sat down at the dunes. Me leaning against Sidney, he holding me in his arms. The sea looked so peaceful, the beach was so clean, the dunes were pretty. And I felt like I'm in some 'Anne of Green Gables' movie. Everything was perfect. So silent. I wasn't used to that any more.
Since we'd been in London there always was some noise. Now I suddenly remembered why I missed California so much at some time. Not only my twin Mia and my best friend Christopher I was missing so much - no, it also is the peace and the silence ... and the warm always shining sun.
But here it was again - that pretty adorable silence. Together with the man I really love so much. Who cares so much about me. Who loves me.

'You know what?' I asked Sidney
'What my dear?'
'I want to last that moment forever. Forever and ever and ever. Just like that now. Sitting here with you. Everything is like it should be.'
'Yes, that's a nice imagination ...' he said after a while 'but I guess that's impossible.'
I wanted to get away from him, so that I could look at him, but he denied to let me go out of his arm. Nope, instead of releasing me he took me down in the sand, so both of us now lying there. My head on his chest.
And because I didn't say anything he started to speak again 'but that's only impossible because I think it's geting dark by night and very cold.'
'Oh, yes ... sure' okay, yes, he was right. 'But I still like the imagination.' stubborn me again saying.
'Me too my love, me too' and he managed to kiss me because I now was looking up at him.

'You know that you are a lot like my grandma' he finally told me.
'What? You kissed your grandma?'
'Nah ...' he once more laughing out loud 'No! Good gracious, girl. You are so wonderful ... haha ... well, no. What I want to tell you is, that sometimes you are as stubborn as she was. You are also as lovely and wonderful and great. And you're caring so much about me, just like her.' and after another wonderful, promissing and long kiss he went on
'and I think she'd loved you and you'd loved her.'
'So you really loved your grandma?'
'Yes. Yes, I loved and adored her. Sadly she died much too early. I only was 23. She always was so proud of me, backed me up every time and she helped me so often, too. But finally she never new that I became an actor.'
'I'm sorry for you loss. But I think she still is here' and I pointed at his heart
'and she knows everything about you.' me smiling at him now.
'Like I said, you are really much like her.' he spoke more to himself than to me and after a short while of silence, while my head was back resting on his chest and Sidney caressing my hair very softly, I wanted to know more, and I just hoped he didn't mind
'So, she was your mothers mother?'
'No. No, she was my fathers mother. She was everything for me. I'd been more with her than with my parents, my mom. And she really cared about me. She also helped me as much as possible and always backed me up.' he was speaking so adoringly and lovely from that women that I really think I'd loved her, too. She sounded to be the greatest women on this world.
'Her name was Margaret, the same name than my mother. She died in October 1979 because of cancer. At this time there'd been not many chances to get healed. Lucky her she had not much to suffer, it was a very fast dead.'
Sidney was holding me now more tight, still stroking my hair. I had the feeling he wanted me to know more about his family, so I didn't say a word, just holding him and showing him that now I am here. And he went on to tell me more, more about his family.
That his dad died when he was only eight because of lung cancer and than his mother had to survive with three children. That was also a main reason he was so often with his grandma. His fathers father died just a few years ago at the age of 85, just two years after Sidneys mother died because of a heart-attack. Her parents both died during a fire at the Hotel in 1984. After that his older brother David, who worked for the Hotel for quite a while, rebuilt it. Of course it was a lot of work and he had not much time for his wife Katie and his daughter Sheila. Sidney told me that Katie left David and their daughter when Sheila only was 12. Since that time David was a more or less broken man. Only working for the Hotel and his daughter.
'But I guess Sheila trusts me more than my brother, her dad. I am so much around here, she is just like my own child.' he was smiling.
Sidney also told me about his younger brother Michael, a musician, living with his family in Austrialia since 25 years. And that his younger sister Sheila is married to a Scottish Lord.

'So you don't have any living family besides your siblings and their family?' me asking to be sure I was following correct.
'Well, yes. I'm sorry my love but I think you'll never have parents in law. I hope that's not too disappointing ...'
Wait? What? About what is he talking? I'm sitting up now, sitting back on my feet next to him, looking down at his pretty face. His pretty serious face. I don't want to see how stupid I must look at that moment, because he hadn't the heart to say anything. Not till I finally was ready again to say a word
'Disappointing?'
'Yes ...'
'Why should that be ...' I still was confused
'well, wait! Did you just - no, you did not, did you?' I wasn't sure what to think. I wasn't even sure what I said a few moments before.
'Did I what?' he smirking at me
'I ... I am not sure, sorry.' me stammering
'But ... well, did you talk about in-laws?'
'Yes, I think I did.' he said while he was siting up, taking my hand, kissing it. Me unable to say anything, unable to move, unable to even think. Perhaps because of that Sidney steped back, literally
'I'm sorry my dear, I didn't want to ask too much at that point. Could we just ...' but suddenly I was sure what to say and so I interrupted him
'No. No it's not disapointing. No!' and now looking in his eyes I said
'and if this really was some kind of asking me to ...'
'I'm not good in that, right? But I have a pretty great excuse. I never did it before ...'
'Yes. Yes, Sidney. Whenever you want.' me whispering against his lips that now were so near that I was touching them with my lips.
After a very very very long kiss we went back to the Hotel, snuggled to each other and Sidney purred in my ear
'Forever!'